Being the caregiver of a fearful or reactive dog can be very isolating.
I very much appreciate the support of my close friends and family but through no fault of their own, they don't fully understand. They haven't experienced it before and they don't live it every single day.
Working alongside a vet behaviourist and/or trainer is wonderful, not just for the practical advice but also for feeling supported and that you have some help.
Aside from the professionals, I don't know anyone in real life who is a caregiver for a reactive or anxious dog. But I feel that I have found a community online.
I stumbled across some wonderful communities on Facebook: https://www.george-the-spicy-dog.com/blog/2092434_resources-articles
I've also recently joined Reddit. The r/reactivedogs sub-reddit is filled with people experiencing similar challenges - some not as bad as George, and some a lot worse. My heart goes out to these people and their dogs. It seems to be a supportive group overall and moderated well (any advice relating to aversive methods is removed).
Insight Animal Behaviour Services offer a free monthly Zoom support group for humans: https://www.insightfulanimals.com/human-support-services as well as lots of helpful resources. I haven't been able to join a session yet (due to the time difference, I am usually at work) but hope to attend in future.
I am on the mailing list for all sorts of online conferences and webinars (mostly free). The speakers often reinforce my thinking and experiences but I always take something new away from these sessions.
Some examples:
- Love in Action: What sensitive dogs really need to feel safe and loved - hosted by Marilyn Mele
- Dog Anxiety Summit by petsummits.com
- Restful Rover Masterclass - the path to emotional security for sensitive dogs (Marilyn Mele)
- DogKind - often offer free webinars to help support sensitive dogs
If you find a speaker that you found really helpful and their story resonated with you, they usually have Facebook/Instagram/YouTube where you can access more supportive content.
I attended an incredibly relatable session recently with Jay Gurden. It felt like I was listening to our story!
I hope to attend the upcoming KIENO (Kindness is Essential, not Optional): The Dog Behaviour Conference - also free - starting on 21 April: https://hollyt.kienoconference.com/
Being involved in these online communities and conferences has really helped bring me out of the slump of "Why is this happening to us…it's so unfair" and regain perspective.
Yes, we have our challenges but lots of people do. We are not the only ones. Our challenges often seem quite minor in the grand scheme of things.
Finding a community of people going through similar experiences is so helpful. It makes you feel less alone.
A word of caution though - sometimes it can be a bit all-consuming for me. Despite not even knowing the term 'reactivity' a year ago, I find myself fully immersed in this world. If I'm not careful, I can spend all of my free time researching, reading training books, reading about others' experiences...
Sometimes, for my own wellbeing and sanity, I need to take a break! Take a breath and read or watch something that has nothing to do with sensitive dogs and reactivity 😊